Carolyn Custis James

Midnight, it is said, is the portal between this world and the next and is somehow in league with chaos, death, and mystery. It is the moment of dark visitations. So it was for me in December 2006. My sleep was interrupted by a phone call, and I was instantly shocked into full consciousness: My younger brother was trapped in a snow cave on Mount Hood, and an unyielding blizzard prevented rescue.

In the Shadow of Mount Hood:
Meeting God in the Mystery of Grief
by Frank A. James III
Published September 2010, Christianity Today

“Let us mark . . . in these verses [Luke 8:1-3], the power of the grace of God, and the constraining influence of the love of Christ. We read that among those who followed our Lord in his journeyings, were ‘certain women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities.’

We can well imagine that the difficulties these holy women had to face in becoming Christ’s disciples were neither few nor small.They had their full share of the contempt and scorn which was poured on all followers of Jesus by the Scribes and Pharisees. They had, besides, many a trial from the hard speeches and hard usage which any Jewish woman who thought for herself about religion would probably have to undergo. But none of these things moved them. Grateful for mercies received at our Lord’s hands, they were willing to endure much for His sake. Strengthened inwardly, by the renewing power of the Holy Spirit, they were enabled to cleave to Jesus and not give way. And nobly they did cleave to Him to the very end!

It was not a woman who sold the Lord for thirty pieces of silver. They were not women who forsook the Lord in the garden and fled. It was not a woman who denied Him three times in the high priest’s house. But they were women who wailed and lamented when Jesus was led forth to be crucified. They were women who stood to the last by the cross. And they were women who were first to visit the grave ‘where the Lord lay.’ Great indeed is the power of the grace of God!

Let the recollection of these women encourage all the daughters of Adam who read of them, to take up the cross and to follow Christ. Let no sense of weakness, or fear of falling away, keep them back from a decided profession of religion. The mother of a large family, with limited means, may tell us that she has no time for religion. The wife of an ungodly husband may tell us that she dares not take up religion. The young daughter of worldly parents may tell us that it is impossible for her to have any religion. The maid-servant in the midst of unconverted companions, may tell us that in her place a person cannot follow religion.

But they are all wrong, quite wrong. With Christ nothing is impossible. Let them think again, and change their minds. Let them begin boldly in the strength of Christ, and trust Him for the consequences. The Lord Jesus never changes. He who enabled ‘many women’ to serve Him faithfully while He was on earth, can enable women to serve Him, glorify Him, and be His disciples at the present day.”

For the full manuscript, go here.

The quote below could possibly give the wrong impression, since I’m posting it after Frank has been working at home for the last few weeks. So let me just clarify. This is quote is not about my marriage. I rather like having Frank around.

I came across the quote while reading the manuscript of a great new book by Kelly Kapic due out in October: God So Loved, He Gave—Entering the Movement of Divine Generosity (which you should add to your reading list!) and couldn’t resist posting it.

The quote comes from a conversation in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov.

“I love mankind, but I am amazed at myself: the more I love mankind in general, the less I love people in particular…. In my dreams, I often went so far as to think passionately of serving mankind, and, it may be, would really have gone to the cross for people if it were somehow suddenly necessary, and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone even for two days…. As soon as someone is there, close to me, his personality oppresses my self-esteem and restricts my freedom. In twenty-four hours I can begin to hate the best of men…. I become the enemy of people the moment they touch me. On the other hand, it has always happened that the more I hate people individually, the more ardent becomes my love for humanity.”

God be in my head, and in my understanding
God be in mine eyes, and in my looking
God be in my mouth and in my speaking
God be in my heart, and in my thinking
God be at mine end, and in my departing.

The front page of this Sunday’s NYTimes features an article by Elizabeth Bumiller titled, “Unlikely Tutor Giving Military Afghan Advice.” Bumiller tells how U.S. Military commanders in Afghanistan are turning for advice to Greg Mortenson, author of the bestseller, Three Cups of Tea, which if you haven’t yet read, should definitely go on your reading list.

What the headline doesn’t show, but the article reveals, is that this significant developing situation involving high powered, high profile men and impacting military strategies in a major international war is profoundly influenced by women and girls—in a word, ezers!

The article reports that Mortenson and his Central Asia Institute are credited with constructing “more than 130 schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan, mostly for girls.” Mortenson is convinced (as are many others, including Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn of Half the Sky, another must-read book) that educating girls is the best way to fight terrorism, reduce poverty, improve child and maternal health, lower mortality rates, combat trafficking, and benefit communities in countless other ways. Mortenson has built his reputation and his career on this thesis. His expertise in understanding, collaborating, and partnering with Afghan tribal leaders (and he tells inspiring stereotype-shattering stories of remarkable Afghan men) that is now so valued by the military has come from his sacrificial and unstoppable advocacy for Afghan girls.

There’s more!

How the military noticed Mortenson in the first place involves ezers too. Their wives were reading Three Cups of Tea in their book clubs and sending copies to their commander husbands, urging them to read it too.

I find so many aspects of this story heartening: the present and potential benefits of educating girls, the influence of women who are willing to speak up, the willingness of men to listen and value what women are saying (how many men—especially those who are fighting a war—will stop to read a book from their wife’s book club?), and the possibility that new, constructive, and peaceful solutions that will benefit all may be introduced into a war that continues daily to cause destruction and the loss of life on both sides.

Especially I love how this story underscores in a variety of ways the importance of and the need for the Blessed Alliance!

What do you think?

O God, early in the morning I cry to you,
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you:
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me …
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before me.
Lord,whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.

—Dietrich Bonhoeffer, (1906-1945)

Bonhoeffer was a crucial leader in the German underground movement and a determined and courageous opponent of the Nazi regime from its first days in 1933—a commitment of conscience before God which ultimately cost his life. “He raised the first and virtually lone voice for church resistance to Hitler’s persecution of Jews when he declared that the church must not simply ‘bandage the victims under the wheel, but jam the spoke in the wheel itself.’“

I am reading Gary Haugen’s book, Good News About Injustice: A Witness of Courage in a Hurting World. Haugen is President and CEO of International Justice Mission, “a human rights agency that secures justice for victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression. IJM lawyers, investigators and aftercare professionals work with local governments to ensure victim rescue, to prosecute perpetrators and to strengthen the community and civic factors that promote functioning public justice systems.”

His book is a well-written, honest look at the horrors of injustice in our world. Readers will want to buckle up. But Haugen is not merely exposing evil. He is also asserting an unbending hope in the God of justice who intends for his image bearers to “jam the spokes in the wheels” of evil. Haugen issues a necessary call to action aimed at all believers both individually and corporately.

As Christians, we need to educate ourselves about what’s happening today and then we need to act. Haugen’s book is a good place to start. He leaves me (and I suspect you too) asking what I can do to be part of a global effort to both “bandage and recover the victims under the wheel” and “jam the spokes in the wheel itself.”

I’d love to hear the thoughts of others who have read his book. What other books would you recommend and why?

There will be a doubleheader this weekend in North Carolina. Frank and I are teaming up to take the Blessed Alliance message to a couples’ conference.

We’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, and now it’s finally happening. I get requests from folks who are eager to explore how the vision of a Blessed Alliance between men and women translates into marriage. So here we go!

Both Frank and I have been burdened for Christian marriages ever since Frank’s induction into service as an elder when he and the other elders walked with five couples through painful divorces in our small church. It felt like an epidemic. That was just his first year.

The Blessed Alliance casts a different vision for marriage and reconnects marriage with the Gospel. A Blessed Alliance in marriage promotes the flourishing of both spouses, as well as the marriage. So we are eager to hit the road and are looking forward to a great weekend with couples from First A.R.P. Church in Gastonia.

And if you don’t know what is a Blessed Alliance, you can read about it here.

” . . . friendship between the sexes may take us not out of ourselves but beyond ourselves and make us more whole, balanced, and sane that we could otherwise be.”

What do 10 inches of rain, a sump pump failure, and a hurt toe have to do with the current discussion (on this blog and others) of the hazards of male/female relationships among Christians? Plenty, I’d say.

Last Sunday, when torrential rains were drenching Boxford, the sump pump in our basement malfunctioned. Water began seeping in at an alarming rate. Buckets proved useless. So Frank, a neighbor, and I began frantically moving furniture and boxes out of harm’s way.

A moment of klutziness on my part left me with a hurting toe. Nothing serious or life threatening. Should be fine in a day or so. But in the meantime it hurts, wakes me up at night, affects how I walk, and silently but relentlessly demands my attention all day.

The topic of male/female relationships in the church can remain at the level of sexual temptation, professional conduct, our fallen humanity, hurt feelings, and precautions (there are precautions) we should take to keep our relationships on the up and up. All of these issues are serious and important. But there are deeper questions we need to be asking.

The church isn’t the same as the workplace. We are called to a significantly higher standard. We are a body. Our goal isn’t simply to figure out ways to co-exist safely and peacefully. We are to strive for the oneness a physical body experiences when every member does its part. As Christians we are necessary to one another. My toe keeps reminding me of that.

God’s design for the world started with a male/female team that has his blessing (Genesis 1:27-28). His image bearers are male and female. It can be said that the history of men and women working together is longer than men working with men and women working with women. We lost that when we fell. And the standard to recover what God intended in the beginning will not be found by looking around at progress made in the corporate world or elsewhere. It comes, at least in part, from an anatomy lesson.

Jesus desired and fully expected that his followers would achieve a level of oneness unprecedented in human relationships, the kind of oneness a body experiences when every member is healthy and fully functioning. Jesus’ brand of oneness is grounded and manifested in a rich selfless love and a mutual and vital ministry to one another that is sure to catch the world’s attention.

Neither Jesus nor Paul ever married. But both men had women in their lives who joined them in ministry and ministered deeply and spiritually to them. With the Spirit’s help, it can be done.

We are the Body of Christ. The question before us is really, How healthy is Jesus’ body if it functions like your or my view of male/female relationships among Christians?

“Raising a daughter is like watering your neighbours’ garden.”

So goes the logic that justifies the ongoing gendercide of baby girls in cultures today where sons are held at a premium and daughters do not count. The March 4 issue of The Economist focuses attention on the disappearance of “at least 100m girls” and counting—”aborted, killed, neglected to death.”

In countries where sons carry forward the family line and according to tradition care for their aging parents, a family must have sons. Daughters, in contrast, leave their parents at marriage to build another man’s house.

To read The Economist articles:
The War on baby girls (Editorial)
Gendercide: The worldwide war on baby girls

If you can’t view the articles, Dr. Al Mohler references them in his recent blog post, The Scandal of Gendercide — War on Baby Girls.

My mind goes down many roads when I read again about these appalling losses. Here are three:

First: to the crisis in itself. Christians must take the lead in speaking out. But speaking out is not enough. It is merely an important first step to be followed by action that will counteract these attrocities. Jesus, the Gospel, and Old Testament prophets call us to this.

Thank you Dr. Mohler for your post!

Second: to mothers and would-be mothers in these cultures. A conversation with a Tanzanian friend of mine underscored the danger posed to women who can’t conceive or bring a child to term and to women who only give birth to daughterrs. In these cultures, she is at risk of being divorced and thrown out or of her husband adding another wife who can “deliver.” Family pressure is intense and can lead to brutal results. So the misery multiplies.

Third, to the Gospel’s good news for women. The ancient biblical culture put the same preeminance on sons over daughters. Note, for example, the unbearable suffering women in the Bible experience when they are barren. Understanding the ancient patriarchal value system puts Jesus’ regard for daughters in sharp relief. One of my favorite Jesus stories involves how he openly valued two daughters—the dying 12 year old daughter of Jairus and the shunned “daughter” who suffered 12 years with a bleeding disorder. Both women get priority treatment from Jesus. You can read that post in the WF archives: God is Good for Women.

There’s more to say on the subject, and surely more that we can do. I for one am glad for another opportunity to put this message forward.